That terrifying pastry moment

We each have that one thing to make that terrifies. The one that you say, day after day, that you will make, but that is just to console yourself. The one you see made faultlessly in pastry shops, boulangeries, or other places, and you imagine your own looking the same or even better. Puff pastry was that thing for me - unimaginable and complicated to make. But... 

... you know that sensation when you really want something, but you cannot get it and you are determined to get it. That was the story about puff pastry and me. Although reasonably easy to make, it is not easy to find ready-made puff pastry in pastry shops and other shops for us to indulge in. With margarine - yes, grab whichever one you select. Butter - as well. And I, do, deeply advise you to avoid any pastry made with margarine. And, in the same manner, I deeply advise you toto make one yourself - with thin layers of butter, flour, milk, and yes, a touch of salt. It just makes the world so much better. I do believe this.

When thinking about puff pastry, two specialties come to mind - palmiers, Chausson aux Pommes and Mille-feuille. Palmiers, which we called ears in my childhood and still do, that are large and crispy on the outside and moist on the inside. Quite dissimilar from the ones in France, where they are primarily crunchy all the way through. Chausson aux Pommes - my all-time favored pastry is where flaky pastry meets soft and delicate apples (either fresh or sautéed). 

I do remember that when I started ordering books from amazon.com and the UK around 22 years ago, I always peeked at the perfectly made puff pastries. They were in almost every French cookbook I owned – also some of my first ones – always stated that it was so, so easy – do this and that and voilà. I was young, but not that silly or naive, to realize that it is not that easy at all. 

For someone living in Latvia at that time, the idea of mille-feuille and other puff pastry cakes has always been straightforward – we do it the easy way by making a quick or cheat interpretation that takes only 15 minutes to make. I have always loved that pastry, too – particularly in the form and shape of my mom's Napoleon – but every time I made it, it consistently reminded me of the one thing I could not do - make a proper puff pastry. With layers so fragile that the wind can take them all away in an instant.

Some time in my late 30ties, finally the day came. The point where it was my time to make it. Mt time where I softened and went with the practice, knowledge, and flow. And, do not forget, the mistakes too. Step by step, I developed a deeper relationship with puff pastry. It is one of those pastries that you have to have an absolutely intimate and understanding relationship with. No other way works. You must understand when it is time to put the butter on, when to turn and roll, when it is just too hot to master, or when to leave. After over two years, I finally mastered it, and that abundant Pandora’s chest was open. Finally. Thanks to practice - which does make it perfect. 

The only unfortunate thing about puff pastry is that it will never be my recipe. It will never be anyone's recipe. It is so universal, so ancient, that it will never be anyone's recipe except for Claude Lorraine, who, as history says, invented this pastry from filo. Although painter Claude Lorraine (17th c.) would like to believe he invented the pastry while creating buttery bread dough for his sick father, stories indicate that it came from Spanish Muslims before the 17th century. I will not go in-depth into history, not this time, but I will say - once you invite this pastry into your life, you have a lover for a lifetime—a very generous and satisfying one. And that's absolutely worth it.